Let’s Talk About Sex (Fa Real) (6/30/14)

So how do we as a society promote something without actually wanting to talk about it?

This question pertains to SEX.

There’s so many sexually charged/focused commercials, movies/shows with sex scenes (whether explicit or nuanced), sexuality is even present in “children’s” shows, markets that sell sex to people.
BUT then these appearances are “Rated” PG and R and X and so on (because 13+ is when maturity magically happens for everyone – clarify: puberty does not equal maturity). And certain institutions take health classes/conversations about sex out of their schools. And so on.

Basically SEX is TABOO even though it’s really NOT. There’s Sex Talk everywhere but in the places that it matters the most. Such as the space where Sex is about to happen. Such as the between the people that Sex can or will occur between. Such as in homes with families – conversations between parent(s) and child(ren) about what Sex can mean, how they have control in how Sex occurs in their lives, what they should be aware of, experiences, and in continuum (even as they age past puberty). Such as in ways that ensure consent and boundaries and comfortableness and intent and intimacy and so forth.

Then it’s like “Sex happens and it’s superdeeduper fun!” (Hopefully fun cuz that’s not a really comfortable or cool situation to be in) OK but then a vacuum is created that makes it seems like Sex happens isolated from other things.

Not Pregnancy of course. Everyone knows people get pregnant. Cuz that’s the thing that is to be MOST avoided – until your in your mid-twenties and then start popping out babies people. Besides knowing that pregnancy occurs – How many people know about contraception and the different forms of birth control? For future reference – there is a form of birth control for sperm-producing men being created/already created (fact check me on that).

Then there’s STDs. How many people know about STDs – other than HIV/AIDS? Gonorrhea is actually the top most spread disease in America, not HIV/AIDS (learned that from my doctor who thankfully wanted to keep me informed). How many people know and understand how STDs can happen and where and through what types of contact? How many people know about different forms of protection (that are inclusive of all sexuality types)? Yes doctors again and again say people with vaginas who have sex without other people with vaginas are believed to have the safest sex but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t use protection.

Including this awareness, how many people know that Sex is a mutual decision? That Sex shouldn’t just happen out of thin air without some type of acknowledgement or consent or conversation about how it should occur – even if it’s non-intoxicated, fully aware/conscious, intentional body language. How many people know that Sex should be a choice? Not forced! How many people feel comfortable talking about sexual assault and how to protect yourself to your best ability before it occurs? How many people are comfortable talking about how awful it is to commit sexual assault and not only how awful it is to be a victim of the action(s)? How many people are comfortable talking about if they are victims of sexual assault without feeling guilty or fault-worthy? We as a society shame people, especially along the lines of gender, about how much Sex they have and how they could get in situations of manipulation but don’t even pay attention to the messages being spread about power in the sexual situations.

Now all of this is NOT to say that Sex shouldn’t happen or that Sex is inherently dangerous or that Sex isn’t fun and enjoyable. Sex definitely Happens, can be Safe, and can be Fun and Enjoyable. Yet how we talk about Sex and the need to actually talk about Sex is important in that process.

So I ask again: How do we as a society promote something without actually wanting to talk about it?

Cuz that doesn’t make any sense to me.


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