Tag Archives: growth

Love is the Universe (5/16/16)

Love is the Universe.

In which the Universe is Infinite making Love Infinite so in Us being the Universe We are Love and thus We are Infinite.

I find myself time and time again reliving this thought in my mind’s eye. My Third Eye opened, seeing the light expanding past this human vision into the very truth of spiritual existence. I See Myself. I See the Light of All the Spirits having this Human Experience with Me.

When I reach out my hand I touch the very fabric of Universal Flow, Love. It’s warm entanglement between each of my fingers, making them burn with a resonance that singes all doubt, all fear, all that seeks to cool my eternal flame.

Walking, I continue on Forever for Love is how I lead My Life, expanding as Universes do.

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Changing What’s Inside (5/14/16)

So this has a double meaning. On Friday, May 6th, I finally got my hysterectomy. All my reproductive organs were removed thus removing my ability to become pregnant. How excited am I? Extremely! At some point in my journey I was very hung up on having biologically related children in my life. Then I came to terms with the truth that family, regardless of biological or social relation, is created. I have family that I have no blood ties to however are more family than some of my own family. This is because what ties one another to each other is not the blood we share however the spiritual essence, the energy we decide to extend to one another. I have always found strong connections that have not been based in the biological sense of family however in the spiritual sense. They have been unbreakable and unwavering through and through.

And even that beneficial transgression has deep relation to the whole purpose of this post. I constantly go through the process of changing what is within me to truly be able to reflect and stand in my truth. This part was changing the internal makeup of my body but what came before that was changing what I believe to be the process of creating a family for myself and continuously manifesting who I am in this body, in this life, in this dimension of time.

I am in a space of meditation in which I am wrapping my mind around many different elements of thought. Processing prospectives and experiences I’ve had and what they look like now. Thinking of the people I’ve known and  the kinds of people I want to continue to know and who I should let go of. What and who do I have to be patient with in this journey of self. When I look in the mirror am I confident in the light that reflects from within, the love that radiates from my heart and soul. Knowing I have ultimate dictation over how I will be Me in this life.

I am sitting here, just thinking of how far I have come and all I had to experience to get here. And all I will experience in the times to come. This is all a journey of changing what is within. This is just another step.

Ameen (Poetry Performance)

On Sunday April 19, 2015, I had the honor to perform “Ameen” at the Queer Monologues at the University of Maryland, College Park (my soon to be all ma mater).

This is one of my few poems I have had the opportunity to capture on camera. Finally a poem of me performing (and of course it had to be on the hardest poem I’ve performed ever).

I hope you enjoy 💚💜

Peace and Empower,
Myke

________________

“Ameen” by Mykell Hatcher-McLarin (4/19/15)

I hold my stomach
And squeem
thinking of things
I’ve only dreamed
Her name is Ameen
Not quite real
But she could be
You could be
as you’re growing
In every crevice of my mind
like galaxies in formation
Iron blood pumping
through empty spaces
Stars aligning in rotation
As the thought loops
Like protons
around helium
building energy so
fast you’ll explode in my heart
With the passion of a thousand suns
And I know that’s cliché
Like the words that usually cling
Tightly in between the lines of my poetry
And I don’t mean you’re not unique
But rather you
Come to my mind so quickly
Like I’ve dreamed you before
Every night
When I was 18,
I dated a woman.
She was a lesbian
who wouldn’t have been
your mother
because she didn’t want
a daughter
in fear that she would be
her mother.
Found that out the hard way
when I woke up one day
and told her
“I just had a dream
about our daughter.
I called out Ameen
and she came to me.
Isn’t that exciting?”
She had nothing to say
and maybe it was
meant that way.
For My Dream
didn’t include two women
There was
You and Me.
Both of us enigmas
In a future
I want to Be
with You
Ameen
Ameen
Giggling Baby Girl
Bouncing into my arms
Squealing
Daddy
Daddy
I love you Daddy
I love you…
Probably the same way I used to
when I was
Baby Girl
In the arms of My Father
Baby Girl
Grown into Daddy.
I’m not afraid to be My Father
so You’ll have Me
And for now I’ll have you
In moments
when boyfriend
Rubs my stomach
Thinking.
Subconsciously.
I ask him,
Do you want children?
“Yea,
I want two
so the first one won’t be lonely.”
Right there,
I knew the first one would
Be You
and the four of us
could be a family.
Not the same dream
but still those thoughts fill me.
And I start wondering
about Pregnancy
forming in Body
Reconstructing Man
in midst of Invisibility.
Those lines in between my poetry
I may not want anyone to read
But wanting to read her genealogy
And See Me
In the XX chromosomes
marking the spot
where two souls
came together
and made
A Baby
inside me
But I don’t want a baby inside me
Fear passed over ovaries
Semen too deep
In panic I drown in ocean
Rescue me
Rescue me
Ameen
I want to be your Daddy
I want you to carry a piece of me
But I’m not willing to carry
And that pains me
At night
When he and I lay in sheets
rustled before bed
“We should use a condom”
He nods.
Agrees.
We grab one.
Proceed.
I smirk.
Mixed Feelings.
Wary of raw emotion
coursing through me
Yet,
Honestly,
I want to say
Fuck It!
I want to be a Daddy
Ameen
Your baby feet kicking
Pitter patter
on oak floors
Brown like Skin
if you were mine
from the beginning
You’d be
Dancing
With Daddy and
Singing
With Daddy and
Laughing
At Daddy
Being Silly
with His Baby Girl
His Baby Girl
My Baby Girl
But Ameen I don’t want to carry
I Just Want You

Please Support the Healing of Black Trans Youth

**Please Read**

In April 2014, I was honored the Black Trans Advocacy Award in Youth Leadership but I was unable to attend the BTAC conference and present on my youth leadership due to my school enrollment. Since I am scheduled to finish my classes in March, I am getting another opportunity to attend the Black Trans Advocacy Conference in Dallas, Texas from April 27-May 3, 2015.

In attending, I will be participating in the Leadership Program and presenting a workshop on how Art Therapy assists in helping transgender youth heal from trauma. Presenting this workshop will enhance my skill set and empower others as I continue working to rejuvenate our young trans people.

However, I need your help in getting me to the conference to persist in doing the work the community needs in growing as a collective. I have to fundraise $875 before April 1st. My personal goal is to be able to make my travel plans and book my hotel by March 1st so not to interfere too deeply with my coursework.
There are three different ways you can best support my scholarship fundraising efforts:

1. Donating to my fundraising campaign (any amount you can contribute) @ http://blacktrans.org/index.php?option=com_civicrm&task=civicrm/pcp/info&reset=1&id=54

2. Placing an ad in the Souvenir Journal @ http://blacktrans.org/souvenir-journal-advertising.html

3. Advertising on the Maryland State website @ http://blacktrans.org/index.php?option=com_civicrm&task=civicrm/pcp/info&reset=1&id=54

Alternative methods could be through providing frequent flier miles for travel and/or hotel vouchers to sponsor my stay at the DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Dallas – Campbell Centre that is partnering with the BTAC conference.

I would so deeply appreciate your aid in my efforts. Please spread widely throughout your networks.

In Hope and Healing,
Myke

Celebrate Sensitivity (8/27/14)

Pause to Celebrate Sensitivity.
We don’t acknowledge the need enough in this world.
People so busy trynna be hard and cold and uncaring.
Trying to act like nothing else matters but “the grind” or “the game” or “the hustle” or whatever else distracts from seeing the whole picture the Universe is painting for Us.
When what we need more of is to tend to the soft, warm, care-filled underbelly of the beast that is apathy and indifference and lack of awareness.
Tend to that underbelly until the beast slumbers off and rolls over revealing all that is hidden behind stone bodies, spirits, and minds.
So we can see more of the Humanity of People.
So we can see that there is more to being hard and cold and uncaring.
See that even a little a bit of Love can make Gardens Grow From Concrete.

May I Universe? (Poetry)

“May I Universe?” by Mykell Hatcher-McLarin 7/10/14

May I write poetry in your arms?
Laying under arches shooting stars into galaxies wrapped around My Heart, Me.
I’ll use novas to spell L-O-V-E.
I’ll write it out, Intentionally…
May I recite poetry in your arms?
You’ll hear me over the nebulas exploding from my voice as fear begins corroding.
Stardust comes down to Earth Free-floating.
And Life is Recreated, Hoping…
May I write poetry in your arms?
Move stars around to create words of Healing that’ll shift rotations of Feelings.
There’s nothing I’m Concealing.
I’m in the process of Revealing…
May I recite poetry in your arms?
It’ll sound like meteor showers raining Truth, filling this Space I Share with You.
Trust Me, Intimacy will Ensue.
I Promise, I Do…
I’ll write poetry in your Sunrise.
I’ll recite poetry in your Moon-filled Skies.
Look into the Stars through My Eyes
and watch all the planets Align.
As the Depth of this Moment Expands,
My Soul, You’ll come to Understand.
I’ll Be Here, an Evolving Man.
Just Please Hold Me and…
Let me Write Poetry in Your Arms
and I’ll cause you No Harm.
Every Word I Tell You is True
for this is All I Want to Do.

Lasting Love (7/1/14)

That funny moment when I’m at a family cookout and one of my cousin’s comes over to figure out who I am (in relation to My Dad’s family) and I tell her “I’m Michael’s Son” and she said “Whaaaaaa? Oooh! I see it! But I thought he only had a…” I smile at her and she says, “Oooooh ok” with a smile on her face, “Well it’s great to finally meet you.” 🙂

Had numerous family members tell me how they loved Dad so much, that he died too young ❤ I’d like to be remembered like that, (not die too young but) to have a lasting memory in the hearts and minds of other’s, warm feelings, comforting thoughts, lasting love. So much so that my kid(s) can be proud to say, “I’m Mykell’s daughter/son/child.” I’ll just keep being myself and see what happens. I’m positive and certain that’s what Dad did ❤

Wake Up and Give Praise (poetry)

“Wake Up and Give Praise” by Mykell Hatcher-McLarin 6/23/14

I am Thankful for this Heartbeat.
Thankful for the Music that plays loudly from my Chest extending from my Soul to course Life through my Veins.
I am Thankful.
I am Thankful for this Heartbeat.
My Heartbeat ready to Commit to the Transformation of Self that is Building My Truth at my Footsteps walking towards Freedom by stepping into Myself.
I am Thankful.
I am Thankful for this Heartbeat.
Thankful for the Thumping that gives me Knowledge that I am Healing with every Breath taken in the Name of Me.
I am Thankful.
I am Thankful for this Heartbeat.
My Heartbeat that’s spread Love through Myself and sends Love soaring outward on Light Streams Shooting Stars into Dark Night Skies, Illuminating the All of Our Abilities to Be.
I am Thankful.
I am Thankful for this Heartbeat.
I am Thankful for My Heartbeat.
I am Thankful.

Dreaming in Current Time (6/16/14)

I’ve finally started appearing in my dreams as I am currently. I used to appear as I used to be before I accepted and embraced my true self. This is most likely because even though I embraced myself I was still struggling with body dysphoria and that in tune really fucked wit my anxiety. But in my last two dreams I was myself, my true self ❤ Finally I've caught up to me everywhere: body, mind, and spirit! Now it's forward motion to a continuous growth process of self. Ashe!