Last semester, my RA posted in our building one of those exercises people post when they want to the residents to get to know each other. The post said, “What is one of your aspirations?” (or something of the sort). I wrote”, “I want to be able to help fund/support as many transgender-specific transitions as possible (ie. therapy, hormones, surgeries, etc)” and went back to my room. Another day, I came into my building with a friend and saw that someone drew an arrow to what I wrote and wrote, “That’s gay.” I was so pissed off that I grabbed the marker and started to draw really heavy, stark lines through what they wrote. But before I could finish, my friend grabbed the marker and said very kind and gently, “Hey there, lines are so harsh” and proceeded to draw hearts over where I drew lines over the message. “There we go,” she said, same tone, and then put the marker down and motioned for me to move on past the post.
Her action in that moment has stuck with me since then and showed me a truth, love and wisdom that I didn’t even imagine could be so simply shown and felt. That poster that had once shown ignorance, disrespect and harm was then covered with what to me looked like Love.
I think about this now as I think about how close I am to surgery which brings me closer to being able to help support other people like me throughout their transitions (whether it be supplying my binders to people who need them or assisting in them getting hormones or helping fund their surgeries or whatever).
I think about this now as I think about all the ignorance and backlash that I and other trans & gender non-confirming people have and still do face.
And I think about how important it is for me to continue to choose love even in the face of hate. To not let someone else’s negative feelings of me deteriorate my character and my perceptions of who I am and the potential goodness of the world around me. I can acknowledge that I can be angry at ignorance, I can be sad at ignorance, I can be hurt by ignorance yet my reaction does not have to be harmful in defense.
Love can do so much more for than hate and harm ever could or will. Through her love, truth and wisdom, I learned this to be true. I remember this and feel refreshed and reborn ❤
In remembering this moment, I want to extend a thank you and deep appreciation for you Inanna for choosing love in that moment and showing me even the little things we do, like drawing hearts rather than lines, can make large, transformational impacts in changing minds and evolving spirits.