Be aware of yourself while remaining aware of others. Just because you’re “doing you” doesn’t mean disregarding the existence or importance of others in your life.
The best comparison I can think of is driving.
When I’m driving, I’m very self aware of myself and where I am as a driver in a car on the street. But at times, I can make some choices that really don’t take in regard anyone else and that can be really dangerous.
The other day, I was driving and I just turned out into traffic. No turn signal, no progression into the street, just slam dipped out into the street. As a result, a car came zipping past me having to swerve out of the way in order to avoid an accident. I was so worried about needing to get out of the position I was in that I didn’t acknowledge the possible presence of other cars.
If I were to check my mirrors before turning out, I would have seen the car, put on my turn signal and avoided the need to swerve and the potentially dangerous situation of a car collision.
This is something that needs to be cleared up when talking about self-affirmation, self-building, self-love, self-improvement and anything dealing with positive self.
When working on self, we have to acknowledge that there are others around us that will be a part of that process.
I shouldn’t keep my blinker on the whole time I drive or keep checking my mirror to the point where I’m not focusing on where I’m going nor should I not use my blinker and stay looking ahead without looking for other cars.
Instead we have to incorporate balance in our awareness. We have to be aware of what we want while remaining aware of how that will affect other people. Doesn’t necessarily mean that what we want will change but at least we’ll understand more a reaction to what we want whatever it may be.
So I want to turn left, I look in the mirror, put on my left turn signal and when it’s open for me to turn I turn. I’ve signals to other cars that I wish to turn and give them time to adjust so that I can turn. I’m not gonna suddenly decide to go pass my destination because there’s a car there. I’m gonna wait till I can turn and then turn.
If there is no balance, we can become either egotistical and non-affirming of others or we can become altruistic and non-affirming of ourselves. Either way, is not a place to be.
So I’ll say this (and you can read it as if you are addressing yourself):
I will remain aware of my wants and needs while acknowledging the wants and needs of others. I will work on myself and care for myself and love myself in a way that does not break down others and invalidates others and is indifferent of others. There is a way to truly focus on self while acknowledging the presence of others. Their wants and needs might not fit into my life or compliment mine but I can at least realize that other people have theirs as I have mine. I can respect their wants and needs as existent without accepting them into my life if they do not serve me. There is no problem with this.
No I do not have to sacrifice myself for the benefit of others nor do I have to sacrifice others for the benefit of myself.
All I have to do is decide where I’m going, check my mirror, put on my turn signal, ensure safety and head that way. By doing so I am taking responsibility for my actions as they affect me and those around me. By this I am developing a healthy relationship with myself and the world around me.
While keeping this balance, I must also acknowledge that I will not always know how others will respond so I must also be aware of this. Be aware that there are unknowns and that I should still not hesitate to make the decisions I need to make for myself and be transparent about those decisions with those who I need to know (whether or not they understand).
Drive Safely. Drive Responsibly. Drive while Aware.
With Love and Affirmation,
Myke
Confidence & Confessions 